THE ULTIMATE: 30 STADIUMS, 30 DAYS

Copied from Sports on Earth, written by Will Leitch

Yesterday, Major League Baseball officially announced the game times for the 2014 season. This might not affect your life that much -- the average person doesn't plan four months ahead down to the hour -- but I find that such announcements are a relief. They're proof that baseball will return, that the cold is abating, that the thaw is coming.

Every baseball fan I know has a dream road trip. If it weren't for that blasted job, the doggoned mortgage, the inconvenient family getting in the way, we'd hop in the car and just go, man. Some years it's just a swing up the Eastern Seaboard to grab four or five parks or so; some years it's a jaunt west for all Southern California stadiums; some years it's a trudge through the upper Midwest. But we all want to do it. If real life didn't keep getting in the way, we all would.

One trip in particular always entices me, right around this time of year. I've always wanted to spend the first month of the season, right when baseball is beginning, and hit all 30 stadiums in 30 days. Just a different one each day, knocking them all off, and then returning to the benign normalcy of daily life like nothing happened. I've wondered whether it could be done; I've wondered if I could get anyone to go with me; I've wondered (mostly) how much it would cost.

So today, we're going to find out. I'm going to map out this crazy, theoretical, April road trip.

The first caveat is that it's not, in fact, a road trip. To do this in 30 days, you're going to have to do some flying. I've allotted for that and accounted for road travel to be done by cabs, not by rental cars. If you want to drive on your own, in your own car, the whole way, you can do that, but honestly, I doubt you're going to make it out to the West Coast in time. Our country is very big. Also, to keep it as "inexpensive" as possible, I'll get the cheapest upper deck tickets possible. All that matters, as far as I'm concerned, is that I'm in the ballpark. Also, I've tried at every opportunity to find hotels within walking distance of the ballpark. I am taking this not-driving thing seriously.

You can start from wherever you live, but I'll be flying out of Atlanta. We are also at the whim of the schedule maker, so sometimes, we have to fly one direction and then go the opposite one the next day. We'll do our best. Let's see if we can make this happen. A possible itinerary:

Monday, March 31: Texas. Unfortunately for me, the Braves don't start the season at home; I'll have to pick them up at the end. So my journey will begin in the West. I'm gonna try to knock out all those West Coast teams while I can, while the weather's still cold out east. So:

7:30 a.m. FLIGHT: US Airlines from Atlanta to Dallas (via Charlotte). Cost: $157
11:28 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Dallas to Rangers Ballpark in Arlington. Cost: $30
2:20 p.m. GAME: Philadelphia Phillies at Texas Rangers, Upper Reserved 307. Cost: $22.
7:00 p.m. HOTEL: Crowne Plaza Suites Arlington. Cost: $151.

Tuesday, April 1: Houston. In what's going to be a rarity on this trip, we can sleep in on the second day. It's a short jaunt south to knock out Texas, and we don't have to leave until the afternoon. Savor the sleep, we won't be getting much of it.

11:30 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Crowne Plaza Suites Arlington. Cost: $30.
1:05 p.m. FLIGHT: American Airlines from Dallas to Houston. Cost: $69
2:15 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Houston airport to Minute Maid Stadium. Cost: $30.
6:10 p.m. GAME: New York Yankees at Houston Astros, Upper Reserved 432. Cost: $25.
10 p.m. HOTEL: Club Quarters Houston. Cost: $129.

Wednesday, April 2: Arizona. I'd never heard of Spirit Airlines, but it's wonderful for our purposes, getting us from Houston to Phoenix one-way for $101. (Shame the Rockies aren't in town on April 2; that's only $35.) It's a night game, so you'll have to come up with something to keep yourself entertained in Phoenix all day. Maybe Scottsdale.

8 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Club Quarters Houston to Houston airport. $30.
10:20 a.m. FLIGHT: Spirit Airlines from Houston to Phoenix. $101.
1:28 p.m. PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION: Light rail from Sky Harbor airport to Chase Field. $2.
6:40 p.m. GAME: San Francisco Giants at Arizona Diamondbacks. Outfield Reserve 331, $30.
10:30 p.m. HOTEL: Hotel San Carlos, $142.

Thursday, April 3: Oakland. Much to my chagrin, the A's and the Giants aren't at home at the same time, so we're going to have to take another trip to Northern California later. Unfortunately, the A's are the only team west of the Mississippi playing tonight that we haven't been to already, so they're the pick.

Noon (sleepin' in!). PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION: Light rail from Chase Field to Sky Harbor airport. $2
1:45 p.m. FLIGHT: US Airways from Phoenix to Oakland. $127.
3:30 p.m. PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION: BART from Oakland airport to O.com Coliseum. $3.
7:05 p.m. GAME: Seattle Mariners at Oakland Athletics, Plaza Outfield, $17.
11 p.m. HOTEL: Days Hotel Oakland Airport Coliseum, $68.

Friday, April 4: Los Angeles. As it turns out, we're only going to be able to knock out a couple California teams while we're out here. The Dodgers and the A's are the only ones in town this weekend. Dodger Stadium will be gorgeous though, even this early.

7:30 a.m. PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION: BART from hotel to airport. $3.
9 a.m. FLIGHT: Delta from Oakland to Los Angeles. $84.
10:25 a.m. TAXI: Cab from LAX to Dodger Stadium: $46.
1:10 p.m. GAME: San Francisco Giants at Los Angeles Dodgers, Top Deck 8, $15.
5 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Dodger Stadium to LAX: $46.
8 p.m. HOTEL: Radisson Hotel at LAX. $93

Saturday, April 5: Denver. No matter what time we leave, we'll have some time to kill in Denver. Depending on your inclination, and Colorado's recent changes in jurisprudence, this could lead one to all sorts of recreational activities.

11:16 a.m. FLIGHT: United from Los Angeles to Denver. $146.
2:34 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Denver airport to Coors Field: $50. 
6:10 p.m. GAME: Arizona Diamondbacks at Colorado Rockies, Rockpile, $6.
10 p.m. HOTEL: La Quinta Inn, $99

Sunday, April 6: Kansas City. Anytime you're flying into a small airport like Kansas City's, you're flirting with danger. I've had three flights into Kansas City in my life, and two of them have been flat-out canceled. Let's roll the dice with United this time.

6 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Coors Field to Denver airport: $50.
7:59 a.m. FLIGHT: United from Denver to Kansas City. $106.
10:36 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Kansas City airport to Kauffman Stadium. $24.
1:10 p.m. GAME: Chicago White Sox at Kansas City Royals, Outfield Box, $22.
5 p.m. HOTEL: Four Points by Sheraton Kansas City, $89

Monday, April 7: St. Louis. You know what would be lovely? A train! There's something about a train that's magic. What better way to see the glory of Missouri than by Amtrak. It's the Missouri River Runner, and it'll change your life.

8:15 a.m. TRAIN: Amtrak from Kansas City to St. Louis. $29.
1:55 p.m. PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION: Light rail to Busch Stadium. $2.
3:15 p.m. GAME: Cincinnati Reds at St. Louis Cardinals, Left Field Pavilion 365, $30
8 p.m. HOTEL: Omni Majestic Hotel, $142

Tuesday, April 8: San Francisco. Time to start knocking out some more of those West spots. St. Louis is the gateway, after all.

5:30 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Busch Stadium to St. Louis airport. $25.
7 a.m. FLIGHT: Frontier Airlines from St. Louis to San Francisco (via Denver). $161.
10:48 a.m. TAXI: Cab from San Francisco airport to AT&T Park. $40.
1:35 p.m. GAME: Arizona Diamondbacks at San Francisco Giants, Reserve Left Field 332, $40.
5 p.m. HOTEL: The Mosser, $101.

Wednesday, April 9: Seattle. I assume at this point the city will have finally stopped celebrating their Super Bowl victory. By the way, this is our first Virgin America flight of this trip. Highly recommended: You can play DOOM on the back of the seat of the person in front of you. They love that.

10 a.m. TAXI: Cab from AT&T Park to San Francisco airport. $40.
11:55 a.m. FLIGHT: Virgin America from San Francisco to Seattle. $69.
1:55 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Seattle airport to Safeco Field. $30.
7:10 p.m. GAME: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim at Seattle Mariners, Left Field View 342, $25.

Thursday, April 10: Minnesota. Red-eye! It's impressive it has taken us this long to hit a red-eye flight. The next couple of days are going to be exhausting, so hang in with us. Because there are again no Western games today, we're going to zip over to the Twin Cities real fast for an afternoon game, then zip right back out. If you've made it this far, you know you don't need to sleep or shower. The cold of Target Field will wake you up anyway.

11 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Safeco Field to Seattle airport $30.
12:50 a.m. FLIGHT: Delta from Seattle to Minneapolis, $169.
6 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Minneapolis airport to Target Field. $34.
1:10 p.m. GAME: Oakland A's at Minnesota Twins, 212 Home Plate Terrace, $40.
6:19 p.m. FLIGHT: Frontier Airlines, Minneapolis to San Diego (via Denver), $169
10:15 p.m. TAXI: Cab from San Diego airport to Petco Park. $20.

Friday, April 11: San Diego. Yes, that's right: You just went from a game to an airport to a game to another airport without ever stopping at a hotel to sleep. You're a gamer. Here's your chance to get some sleep, though. You powered through what was essentially a 36-hour day in three different time zones, and once you check into the hotel by Petco Park, you can pass out until first pitch. You've earned it.

Midnight. HOTEL: Hotel Indigo Gaslamp, $143.
SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP
7:10 p.m. GAME: Detroit Tigers at San Diego Padres, Bleachers, $20.
11 p.m.: HOTEL: Hotel Indigo Gaslamp, $143.

Saturday, April 12: Anaheim. Now would you look at this: We're less than two weeks in, and we've knocked out everything west of Milwaukee. I deserve a medal. You deserve a leisure train ride through Southern California.

Noon. TRAIN: Amtrak from San Diego to Anaheim. $35.
6:05 p.m. GAME: New York Mets at Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Right Field MVP 238, $30.
10 p.m. TAXI: Anaheim Stadium to LAX, $75.

Sunday, April 13: Chicago. This is the last red-eye. Say goodbye to the Pacific time zone: It's all Eastern and Central from here on out. We've got three options here, all in the Midwest: Milwaukee, Chicago (White Sox) or Cincinnati. I went with Chicago, because it's easier to fly there from LAX than the other two cities. No matter what, this is going to be another rough stretch.

12:30 a.m. FLIGHT: United from Los Angeles to Chicago (via Houston). $229.
10:55 a.m. TAXI: Cab from O'Hare Airport to U.S. Cellular Field. $46.
1:10 p.m. GAME: Cleveland Indians at Chicago White Sox, Upper Tier 526, $25.
5 p.m. HOTEL: Amber Inn, $105

Monday, April 14, Milwaukee. Hasn't this trip given you a greater appreciation for trains? Wait until we get to the East Coast. Also: This is the day you make up all that rest you lost on the red eye from Los Angeles.

3:15 p.m. TRAIN: Chicago to Milwaukee, $50.
4:44 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Milwaukee train station to Miller Park, $20.
7:10 p.m. GAME: St. Louis Cardinals at Milwaukee Brewers, Upper Deck 413, $30.
10:30 p.m. HOTEL: Best Western Woods View, $126.

Tuesday, April 15, Detroit. It's tax day. It probably would have been wise to do this before the trip started. Though if you're doing this, I don't know how you have a job with earnings to be taxed.

7 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Miller Park to Milwaukee airport. $34.
9:20 a.m. FLIGHT: US Airways from Milwaukee to Detroit (via Philadelphia, oddly), $151.
4:06 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Detroit airport to Comerica Park, $40.
7:08 p.m. GAME: Cleveland Indians at Detroit Tigers, Upper Deck Lounge 331, $40.
11 p.m. HOTEL: Holiday Inn Express and Suites, $144.

Wednesday, April 16, Cincinnati. Of all the flights I've put together for this, none are more expensive that travelling from Detroit to Cincinnati. Obviously. That's surely what you would have guessed.

6 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Comerica Park to Detroit airport, $40.
7:35 a.m. FLIGHT: Delta from Detroit to Cincinnati, $435.
8:47 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Cincinnati airport to Great American Ballpark, $34.
12:35 p.m. GAME: Pittsburgh Pirates at Cincinnati Reds, Section 522, $25.
4 p.m.: HOTEL: Millennium Hotel Cincinnati, $161.

Thursday, April 17, Pittsburgh. At last, after all your travels, you arrive at what might be the prettiest stadium in the majors. It's gonna be freezing, though.

7:47 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Great American Ballpark to Cincinnati airport, $34.
9:16 a.m. FLIGHT: US Airways from Cincinnati to Pittsburgh (via Charlotte), $253.
1:07 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Pittsburgh airport to PNC Park, $40.
7:05 p.m. GAME: Milwaukee Brewers at Pittsburgh Pirates, Right Field 303, $30.
11 p.m. HOTEL: Wyndham Grand Pittsburgh, $161.

Friday, April 18, Chicago. After three weeks on the road, nothing will make you feel more completely refreshed, as if you have just started your trip, than some afternoon baseball at Wrigley. This is a good time to check out the changes they've made to the park and if it feels any different. Warning, though: Your travel weariness might have you hallucinating Clark the mascot.

7:30 a.m. TAXI: Cab from PNC Park to Pittsburgh airport, $40.
9:43 a.m. FLIGHT: United from Pittsburgh to Chicago, $284
10:20 a.m. TAXI: Cab from O'Hare to Wrigley Field, $35.
2:20 p.m. GAME: Cincinnati Reds at Chicago Cubs, Upper Deck, $50.
6 p.m. HOTEL: City Suites Hotel, $161.

Saturday, April 19, Tampa. It's time to knock out those two sore thumbs in Florida. You can wipe them out in a weekend and then forget you were ever there.

6 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Wrigley Field to O'Hare, $35.
8 a.m. FLIGHT: Spirit Airlines from Chicago to Tampa, $98.
11:38 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Tampa airport to Tropicana Field, $35.
7:10 p.m. GAME: New York Yankees at Tampa Bay Rays, Right Field Deck, $30.
10:30 p.m. HOTEL: The Pier Hotel, $139.

Sunday, April 20, Miami. If you get a chance while you're here, could you steal that sculpture? It's sort of amazing this hasn't been done yet.

7 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Tropicana Field to Tampa airport, $35.
9:15 a.m. FLIGHT: American Airlines from Tampa to Miami, $128.
10:15 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Miami airport to Marlins Stadium, $15.
1:10 p.m. GAME: Seattle Mariners at Florida Marlins, Right Field, next to sculpture, $22.
5 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Marlins Stadium to Miami airport to Marlins Stadium, $15.
7:50 p.m. FLIGHT: American Airlines from Miami to Cleveland, $305
10:45 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Cleveland airport to Progressive Field, $38.
11:30 p.m. HOTEL: Wyndham Regency Cleveland at the Arcade, $140

Monday, April 21, Cleveland. There aren't many people in the world that would sprint out of Miami to get to Cleveland, but I am one of those people. Florida is just terrifying, in general. Now you get to spend the whole day chilling in Cleveland. May I recommend the Rock and Roll Museum? Or also maybe the Rock and Roll Museum?

7:05 p.m. GAME: Kansas City Royals at Cleveland Indians, Bleachers, $20.
11 p.m. HOTEL: Wyndham Regency Cleveland at the Arcade, $140

Tuesday, April 22, Toronto. Please, please tell me you didn't forget your passport.

8:45 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Progressive Field to Cleveland airport, $38.
10:25 a.m. FLIGHT: Air Canada from Cleveland to Toronto, $138
11:33 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Toronto airport to Rogers Centre, $50
7:05 p.m. GAME: Baltimore Orioles at Toronto Blue Jays, Upper Level 520, $20.
10:30 p.m. Renaissance Toronto, $210

Wednesday, April 23, Boston. A trip like this wouldn't be worth it if you didn't pop into a Yankees-Red Sox game at Fenway, would it?

10:30 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Rogers Centre to Toronto airport, $50
Noon. FLIGHT: Delta from Toronto to Boston (via JFK), $159
4:35 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Logan airport to Fenway Park, $30.
7:05 p.m. GAME: New York Yankees at Boston Red Sox, anywhere, $150, probably.
11:59 p.m. HOTEL: Hotel Buckminster, $149

Thursday, April 24, New York. Relax, the intensely overpacked populations on the East Coast are going to give you a few days off from planes. This is a wonderful chance to get caught up on whatever has been going on in the world for the last three weeks. Wait, are we at war?

6 a.m.: TAXI: Cab from Fenway Park to Boston South Station, $55.
7:15 a.m. TRAIN: Amtrak from Boston to New York Penn Station, $73.
10:41 a.m. SUBWAY: Can you get from Penn Station to Citi Field? I think you can. Ask someone if you need to. $2.50
1:10 p.m. GAME: St. Louis Cardinals at New York Mets, Pepsi Porch, $40.
5 p.m. SUBWAY: Get back to Times Square. And walk fast and don't look up when you get there. $2.50.
7 p.m.: HOTEL: The Warwick, $210.

Friday, April 25, New York. The good news for you here is that the Yankees won't be eliminated from the playoffs yet.

5 p.m. SUBWAY: Just get to Grand Central and take the 4. This isn't so hard. $2.50.
7:05 p.m. GAME: Anaheim Angels at New York Yankees, Upper Deck, $40.
10:30 p.m. SUBWAY: It's safe to take the subway at night now, it's not "The Warriors' anymore. $2.50
11 p.m.: HOTEL: The Warwick, $210.

Saturday, April 26, Washington. You are so close now. Can you believe you are this close? Do you even remember what life is like? What it was once like to live, to breathe, to bathe?

8:05 a.m. TRAIN: Amtrak from Penn Station to Washington DC Union Station, $59.
11:30 a.m. TAXI: Cab from Union Station to Nationals Park, $12.
1:05 p.m. GAME: San Diego Padres at Washington Nationals, Right Field Box, $35.
7:20 p.m. TRAIN: Amtrak from Washington DC Union Station to Baltimore Penn Station, $12.
8:02 p.m. TAXI: Cab from Baltimore Penn Station to Camden Yards, $7
9 p.m. HOTEL: Embassy Suites Baltimore, $140

Sunday, April 27, Baltimore. I went ahead and put you in Baltimore a day early. At this point, we're not worried about tourist attractions: We're just trying to get this done, so now you have two nights in Baltimore. Don't pretend you aren't thrilled.

1:35 p.m. GAME: Kansas City Royals at Baltimore Orioles, Left Field Tier, $30.
5 p.m. HOTEL: Embassy Suites Baltimore, $140

Monday, April 28, DAY OFF. You're never going to believe this, but … you have a day off. Sorry. Neither Philadelphia nor Atlanta, the two teams left, play today. Use this opportunity to further explore Baltimore.

5 p.m. HOTEL: Embassy Suites Baltimore, $140

Tuesday, April 29, Philadelphia. You have come to the last step of your journey. (Because we started in Atlanta, I assume you live somewhere near and can just wait until they're back in town on May 2.) It ends, like all things must, in Philadelphia.

4:05 p.m. TRAIN: Amtrak from Baltimore Penn Station to Philadelphia 30th Street Station
5:15 p.m. TAXI: Cab from 30th Street Station to Citizens Bank Park, $16.
7:05 p.m. GAME: New York Mets at Philadelphia Phillies, Right Field Deck, $30.
10:30 p.m. HOTEL: Holiday Inn Philadelphia, $163.

Wednesday, April 30, flying home. You made it. Everyone you ever cared about in your life has deserted you, you are bankrupt, and you've gained about 50 pounds … but damn it, it was still worth it, wasn't it?

3:30 p.m. FLIGHT: Delta from Philadelphia to Atlanta, $131.

So, the question you want answered: How much did all this cost? The final tally -- assuming you had no friends to stay with and didn't get any tickets for a buck or two on StubHub -- is …

$10,815 per person.

For the trip of a lifetime, that seems like a pretty good deal to me.

* * *

The Bobby Petrino Timeline

The Bobby Petrino controversy timeline: A decade of shenanigans

By Pete Volk  on Jan 9 2014

According to multiple national and local reports, Bobby Petrino is headed back to Louisville, ending his stint at Western Kentucky after only one year. He'll reportedly be introduced Thursday.

The Hilltoppers job is now the seventh (out of his 15) that the 83-30 college head coach has left after one season, for one reason or another. To say the least, Petrino does not have a stellar reputation. Let's take a look at why, via a chronology of his various questionable deeds.

2001

After his only season as the Jaguars' offensive coordinator, Petrino takes the Auburn offensive coordinator job, allegedly without telling Jacksonville head coach Tom Coughlin.

Favorite Petrino story: He was Jaguars' OC in 2001 when I covered them. Sneaked away to Auburn after season without telling Coughlin. (1/2)

— Bart Hubbuch (@HubbuchNYP) January 8, 2014

Coughlin wasn't aware Petrino had left until Auburn announced his hiring. Coughlin was furious, supposedly never spoke to him again. (2/2)

— Bart Hubbuch (@HubbuchNYP) January 8, 2014

2003

After one year at Auburn, Petrino takes the Louisville head coaching job. He then interviews with Auburn boosters for the Tigers' head coaching position, behind the backs of his current boss (Louisville athletic director Tom Jurich) and former boss (Auburn head coach Tommy Tuberville, who still has the job).

Petrino lied about having any contact with Auburn officials -- until two reporters for The (Louisville) Courier-Journal confronted him with documentation of the private plane that brought the university president and athletic director into Petrino's backyard. I was one of the two reporters. And even when faced with the evidence, Petrino resisted telling the truth until Auburn issued a statement owning up to the whole affair.

Boxed into a corner, Petrino asked forgiveness and chalked it up to the inexperience of a "young coach." Louisville forgave him because he was 9-3 and his offense blew up scoreboards.

Tuberville stays with the school until 2008. Petrino will have three different head coaching jobs in that time.

2004 to 2006

Petrino interviews for at least three other head coaching jobs -- the Raiders, Notre Dame, and LSU -- and is reportedly in touch with multiple other teams. At one point he says, "I'm not interested in any other coaching jobs."

He gets a raise.

July 13, 2006

Petrino signs a 10-year contract extension with Louisville, telling the world he isn't going anywhere:

"We did want to make a statement," Petrino said. " ... I also wanted to make sure that everyone understood - and I know I've said it - that this is where my family wants to be and where I want to be. But I want everyone to really believe it when it is said."

Asked later if he was emphatically telling other teams not to pursue him, Petrino said, "Yeah. That's why we did the buyout. That's why I wanted the buyout, so everybody understands that."

January 7, 2007

Petrino goes somewhere, as he is hired as the head of the Atlanta Falcons. He says he's taking what he "truly feel[s] is the best job in the National Football League."

"I'm in shock right now," a Louisville player tells ESPN. "We're coming off a great Orange Bowl win and we were all thinking national championship. I didn't think this would happen. He said he enjoyed college football. He's a great coach, and we're going to miss him."

November 26, 2007

Petrino says he hasn't considered leaving the Falcons, who are 3-8 without quarterback Michael Vick.

I haven't given it one bit of thought. I certainly don't want to get into any speculation and rumors and having to deal with that. I'm focused on our football team here.

December 10, 2007

Petrino resigns from the Falcons 13 games into his first season, telling his players via a 78-word letter posted in the team's locker room.

One player, Lawyer Milloy, responds by writing "coward" in red Sharpie on his copy and displaying it for reporters. Three years later, Petrino's defensive coordinator, Mike Zimmer, calls Petrino a "gutless bastard."

That night, Petrino is introduced as the head coach at Arkansas.

December 2008

Jurich, the Cardinals AD, on the ongoing process of cleaning up Petrino's Louisville mess:

Bobby went to areas where he thought he was strong recruiting and some of them panned out and some didn't. That's the nature of it. But listen, we had to clear out a lot of discipline issues. And our numbers suffered. We cleared 21 kids out of here, and that's a lot. That's a big hit for anybody to take, Eric. I don't know anyone that has. But we want to do things the right way.

April 1, 2012

Petrino crashes his motorcycle, suffering injuries.

It's later discovered that his passenger on the bike was a 25-year-old former Arkansas volleyball player and current football team assistant with whom he was having an affair. He'd hired her (possibly illegally) over several far more qualified candidates.

Petrino attempts to hide the assistant's presence at the crash, asking a witness not to call 911. Arkansas eventually releases a statement saying Petrino was alone in the crash.

April 11, 2012

Petrino is fired by Arkansas after the 2011 season following the events resulting from the motorcycle crash, which included the coach lying to athletic director Jeff Long and the revelation that Petrino had paid his mistress $20,000.

"We've put a lot of hard work over these last four years to get where we're at,'' running back Knile Davis tells the Associated Press. "Just to see it go down the drain in 24 hours is just, you know, it hurts. But we can't do anything but move forward.''

An NFL team is reportedly interested in him.

December 20, 2012

Petrino is hired by Western Kentucky as its new head coach after rumors connecting him to Arkansas State, Colorado, and others.

Petrino was fired by Arkansas after being caught lying about his affair with an employee, which was brought to light due to his wrecking a motorcycle with her aboard. He also has a very well-earned reputation as a job-hopper. But other than that, he's good to go!

He does not promise to stay forever, saying, "You can't know what the future is going to hold, but we hope that we can be here as long as possible."

March 2013

SB Nation's own Steven Godfrey profiles Petrino and the move to Western Kentucky. Athletic director Todd Stewart admits that a quick departure by the coach is a likely result.

We want him here for a long time, obviously, but I'm not naive to the turnover. This was Willie Taggart's alma mater and he only stayed here three years. Certainly change is a possibility but I don't want to have to replace a head coach every year. I think continuity is important and that's what we're striving for.

August 2013

Anonymous SEC coaches on the ongoing process of cleaning up Petrino's Arkansas mess:

They are going to be slim in a lot of spots. It's going to take them three years to get a good foundation. It's a product of bad recruiting - which is typical of a Bobby Petrino school. It's the same thing that happened at Louisville that got Steve Kragthorpe fired. Petrino didn't leave him any players. It's the same thing at Arkansas. They have no players on defense. Petrino would load up on offense and leave the cupboard bare. That's why he can't ever get over the hump.

January 8, 2014

Petrino is reportedly being hired again by Louisville after one season with the Hilltoppers.

Kristi Malzhan Interview on Christian TV Show

If you read this blog you know I am obsessed with that cheater Gus Malzahn. Not to kick a man when he's down, having just lost the big game last night, I came across the best video this morning. Enjoy!


http://deadspin.com/5868492/heres-the-bizarre-kristi-malzahn-interview-somebodys-trying-to-sweep-off-the-internet

A-Rod & Levine Exchange E-Mails

By Mike Puma

December 30, 2013 | 2:20pm

 (reprint from NY Post)

Alex Rodriguez invoked The Boss’ name in asking the Yankees to leave him alone.

According to emails obtained by New York magazine, the beleaguered Yankees third baseman told team president Randy Levine he was “ruining the business of baseball” as the player and club dueled last summeron Rodriguez’s return from injury, with the Biogenesis performance-enhancing drug scandal hanging overhead.

“Can u please stop!!” Rodriguez wrote to Levine on Aug. 3, according to the magazine. “I want to play baseball and I could make a big difference to the game. [George] Steinbrenner would roll in his grave IF he knew what was happening! Stop, Randy, this isn’t going to be good for any of us!! You are a businessman and what you are doing is ruining the business of baseball. If u want to meet in person to discuss it, let’s do it!”

Two days later, Levine reportedly responded.

“I received your email, the contents of which are a complete shock to me,” Levine wrote, according to the magazine. “As I have repeatedly told you, this is an MLB investigation. We had no role in initiating the investigation or assisting in the direction of the investigation.

“Despite your continued false accusations (which you know are false) we have acted consistently. My focus and direction, as well as that of the entire Yankees organization, has been, and continues to be, to treat you in the same manner as we do all of our players, to have you healthy and ready to play as soon as possible. Good luck.”

That same day, MLB handed Rodriguez a 211-game suspension for his involvement with Biogenesis. Rodriguez appealed the suspension and is awaiting an arbitrator’s decision on the matter, which could come as soon as this week.

The oddest moment in the re-printed correspondence comes from a pair of reported Levine emails from before the Biogenesis scandal in the summer of 2012, when Rodriguez was sidelined with a broken hand and Yankees teammate Robinson Cano was struggling at the plate.

“How r u feeing since u left Robby [Cano] under 200, he needs some steroids fast,” Levine wrote, and in a separate email: “Hey, what’s up with Robby. This guy must not be using the liquid.”

According to the magazine, Levine later referred to at least the first of these PED references as a “bad joke.”